Airline Captain Humor (Captain Jack)

Posted on 07. Mar, 2007 by in Featured

Airline Captain….
> Captain: “You want answers?”
> Chief Pilot: “I think we are entitled”
> Captain: “You want answers!”
> Chief Pilot: “I want the truth!”
> Captain: “You can’t handle the truth!!!” “We live in
> a
> world
> that requires revenue. That revenue must be flown by
> people
> with elite skills. Who’s going to do it? You, Mr
> CEO?
> You
> Mr. Finance? You, Ms. Human Resources? We have a
> greater responsibility than you can possibly fathom.
> You scoff at
> the line pilots and you curse our mediocre
> incentives.
> You have
> that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what
> we know.
> And my very existence, while grotesque and
> incomprehensible to
> you, drives REVENUE! You don’t want to know the
> truth
> because deep down in places you don’t talk about at
> staff
> meetings, you want me in that airplane. You NEED me
> in
> that airplane!!
> We use words like working radar, good weather, on
> time
> departures,
> airworthiness, upgrades, commuting, another round,
> medium-rare,
> on-the-rocks, Cohiba. We use these words as the
> backbone of all
> Professional Aviation. You use them as a punch line!
> I have neither the time nor the inclination to
> explain
> myself to
> people who rise and sleep under the very blanket of
> service I provide
> and then question the manner in which I provide it.
> I
> would rather you
> just said “thank you” and went on your way.
> Otherwise,
> I suggest you
> pick up a flight bag. Either way, I don’t give a
> damm
> what you think
> you’re entitled to!”
> Chief Pilot: “Did you expense the lap dancers?”
> Captain: “I did the job I was hired to do.”
> Chief Pilot: “Did you expense the lap dancers?!”
> Captain: “You’re goddamn right I did!
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